I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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