Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
