that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
