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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So vagazzling was a success
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
