I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
