I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
