Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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