I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
