They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
worst night to have a conscience
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
