If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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