He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If its not for food we ain't going out.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
