Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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