I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
