Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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