just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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