If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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