Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
