to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
