i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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