She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
