I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
