Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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