how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
