Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
