yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
