she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
