I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
