everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
