She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dick very happy bro
I came so hard my ears popped.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize