After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Drunk is not a location!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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