But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
kristin has been a bad kristin
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
