i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
