I am in a vortex of obligation.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize