Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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