remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
