You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
