you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
