Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
