bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
