is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
