Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Farmville is her only friend.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
