he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
