Your dad touched me again.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
