she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
