i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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