actually, I'm a sock model
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
