I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
