I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
