There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
