Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
