Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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