Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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