Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
