Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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