My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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