Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
