clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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