hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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