the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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