oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
