we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
