ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
