32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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