Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
