We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
