In the future we'll all be gay
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
