That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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