their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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