Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
