just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
