I can tuck mytits in my pants
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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