I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
