apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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