Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
