I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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