didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize