You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
