he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
