Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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