So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize